Uganda Reflections
Preparing to leave Uganda today after being here the last 9 days. My heart is full and my mind more clear than it’s been. This trip gave me more than I could have asked for. This trip gave me opportunity to be still and listen. To be mindful and aware of all the little things God is doing here in Uganda and in the lives of the team that came.
This trip reminded me of some of the core of who I am, who God has called me to be. This trip deepened my faith, reignited flames I thought were long extinguished and gone. This trip I was able to start writing again. There are a few other things that I feel stiring but have not come out fully. Perhaps I will turn on my keyboard when I return home or perhaps I will pick up my guitar. Perhaps there are other creative pursuits that I will seek out.
This time reminded me that I need to be still and know God, to trust that God is in control. That God still sees us, He is the God who sees. “Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, You-Are-the-God-Who-Sees; for she said, “Have I also here seen Him who sees me?”” Genesis 16:13. I have also been reminded that “Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.” Psalms 119:105 NKJV and right now there is only 1 step at a time that is lit up. This is probably one of the hardest things because I like to plan and see big picture things what is coming. Trusting one step at a time makes me a little crazy.
I came on this trip expecting to see what God is doing here. This trip was hard on some level because it was so different from every other trip to Africa. Every other trip I have spent most of my time teaching/speaking and this time I didn’t have to do any speaking at all. I was allowed to do what is easy for me in working in the background where people may not have any idea what I am doing. Praying and observing, supporting those around me as much as I can. This trip I was able to see the goodness of God in the midst of trials and heartbreak. The trip was exactly what was needed and wanted.
Into the Unknown
I am a planner. I like to make plans and stick to them. I like consistency and seeing the big picture in circumstances. Anytime I am in a situation where there is no solid plan I prepare myself mentally by telling myself that the plan is to be spontaneous. This works well for a trip or a day where things may be in not set in stone. However, when it becomes more about the bigs things in life it is not so easy to do this. Sometimes we have seasons where the path ahead is not clear and all we see is what is directly in front of us. We only one step at a time. I don’t know about you but this drives me a bit crazy because I want to know all the steps.
However, when we only have one step at a time we are dependent on God. We can’t move ahead of the plan or make plans to get to where we think we are going. So here I am in a season where all I can see is one step at a time. There are definitely some changes coming and priorities that are shifting. What that means in the long term, I do not know. What I do know if that there will be some changes over the next few weeks, I see the next step but it is not yet time to take the step. What I do know that that step will open up new steps to take.
While I don’t like uncertainty and not knowing the next step, sometimes I enjoy the curiosity it evokes. What does the next step look like? What new things will take priority? I have some ideas of priorities that are shifting but things are not certain. Right now all that I can see is the next step.
Perfection Is The Thief Of Joy
It has been a very long time since I have sat down to write a blog. I have sat at my computer screen and had all sorts of blogs on my mind but then I stopped because I couldn’t find the words I want to say in the right way. So then nothing was written and now it has been well over a year and a half since I have sat and allowed myself to just write.
Today I was talking with one of my clients and we discussed that things do not need to be perfect. Perfection is the thief of joy. I do not know where the quote comes from but is the truth. Once upon a time ago I wrote blogs all the time (I think up to 3x a week) and I gave no thought to how perfect it needed to be. Somewhere in there I let myself believe that blogs needed to be perfect and so I wouldn’t write anything. They joy I found in writing was gone. Today I decided that I was not going to allow perfection keep me from doing one of the things I love.
We learn this lesson in Encanto through an upbeat happy song where we hear one of teh sisters “What could I do if I just grew what I was feelin’ in the moment? What could I do if I just knew it didn’t need to be perfect? It just needed to be? And they’d let me be?” The visual we get here is that as she is creating things that are not perfect they are beautiful and new and exciting. So I guess the thought today is what could you do if you knew it didn’t need to be perfect? For me it means that I am going to write more.
Never The Same
There is the old song (1995) call “I will Never Be” and the word of the song start off with “I will never be the same again, I can never return I’ve closed the door.” Some of the people I went to college with may remember this song. This was one that was played pretty regularly during chapel and even in meetings. This song has been playing through my mind recently. It made me think back to when I first heard this song and the transformation in my life that had already happened.
However, before the song was heard, another moment transformed my life in ways that are still felt some 23 years later. I remember the day so clearly. It was a humid and hot day in New Orleans and I was on my first missions trip. We were standing outside, we were all hot and sweaty and we had started to pray. Standing there, we started to pray for the city and the prayer the came from my heart was “break my heart for what breaks Yours.” Little did I know that this prayer would change the way I saw the world forever.
Here I am, some 20plus years later and the song again comes to mind. I begin to think about why this song is once again coming to mind. I don’t know what God is doing right now, but things are definitely stirring. There are so many things in my mind that i can’t even put it into words yet. What I do know is that God is in control even when I don’t understand it. The past few weeks, it seems as though something is brewing in me, the sermons my past has been preaching have been on point. All I know now is I need to trust that God is in control.
Do Not Neglect The Gift That Is In You…
This year the verse that stuck out to me as the verse that would be my focus of the year was 1 Timothy 4:14 “Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership.” This verse has been bouncing around my mind for several months now and it seems as though there should be a clear direction by this point in the year. However, there has been no clear direction as to what I am supposed to do.
The question that arises is what gift am I neglecting? Where am I not walking in all that I am called to do? From the outside it would seem like I am doing all the things, I serve in my church, I work in the field that I went to school for. However, there is this growing discontent, a feeling as though there is something else or something more that I should be different. I feel a little like Elsa in the Into the Unknown song.
Or are you someone out there
Who’s a little bit like me?
Who knows deep down
I’m not where I’m meant to be?
Into The Unknown
I currently serve in my church in tech. Those who know me, know that tech is my favorite hiding place in church. Serving in tech is easy for me, its a place where I go when I don’t know what to do, or need a season of rest. Its a place where I feel safe and grounded. Somedays I feel my heart stirring, something in me starts to bubble and then life gets busy and those things find themselves back on the back burner where they were before. I started writing this blog post a month ago, and then life got in the way and here it is 30 days later and I am trying to finish it.
I feel as though there are gifts I am neglecting but I can’t seem to put my finger on what gifts they may be and what I am supposed to do with the knowledge. So for today I am just putting it out there, that this is something I am continuing to pray about and think about.
Re-Assessing Goals
We are now through the first quarter of the year. This is a great time to re-evaluate the goals we set in January for the new year and determine which goals need to remain, what needs to be updated and which goals need to have the pause or stop button pushed on them.
This is the time to look at your overall priorities and see if they are the same as January when you set the goals for the year. Did circumstances change? Have other areas in your life become more of a priority? Just because a goal was set in January does not mean that it needstoremain the goal if this is no longer what the focus is. I set my goals with a timeline to be assessed every 3 months at a minimum.
What goals did you set in January that need to be re-assessed or ended. What are new goals that you are focused on? Did you set goals in January or did you not set goals at all? If you did not set goals this is a great time to set some goals for the period between now and July 1.
Are you not sure what kinds of goals you want to set? Start by asking what is something you consider important or something you want to see differently. You might have a goal related to fitness or physical health, you might have some mental health goals, you might have some career goals. Start off by setting the goal to do something (ie join a gym, start tracking your food, schedule a session with a therapist) as the first step. What step will you take?What goals are you updating?
Thankful Thursday- Thanksgiving Day
Happy Thanksgiving Day! Today is a day where here in the United States we are reminded to be thankful more. Most people are able to identify that at least on today they need to identify what they are grateful for. Some people will struggle to identify one thing that they are grateful for, however for you this should not be a difficult thing to do since you have been bringing gratitude practice into your everyday life.
Over the last 7 weeks you have been challenged to add gratitude practices into your daily routine. How has this gone for you? Has gratitude become a routine practice for you? Is it something you do without having to think about it? Each week you tried a different thing within gratitude practice. Some things were pulled through from one week and then built upon. Now the goal is you will find what gratitude practice you are going to keep in your life moving forward.
I want you to look back over the last 7 weeks and think about how your gratitude practice has assisted you, how it has assisted those around you and what your experience has been in the process. Did it make enough of an impact to add this into your daily life after today? Let me know your thoughts and what you plan to do.
Thankful Thursday
Here we are one week from Thanksgiving and it may seem as though the world is speeding up towards the holidays and the days are getting busier and busier by the moment. In the midst of all of the busyness that comes with the holidays it is often hard to take a moment and breath let alone focus on what we may be grateful for.
Today I encourage to look back at the gratitude practice you may have established over the last few weeks or that you have tried to establish and identify what is it today that you are grateful for. Are you grateful that you are alive? Are you grateful for the opportunities to gather with friends? Are there other things you are grateful for today? I know, for some the weeks leading up to the start of the holiday season are filled with stress and uncertainty. However, I encourage you to find something you can focus on that you are grateful for (even the seemingly small thing) and write it down or speak it out. Don’t just think about the thing you are grateful for, tell someone or write it out.
Thankful Thursday- Veterans Day
Happy Veteran’s Day! To all those who have served our county (USA) thank you for your service. Thank you for going and protecting those of us who were able to stay home and not go. Thank you to your families that sacrificed while you were away or that had to be flexible with their career plans while moving from state to state.
Today the challenge is simple, find your veteran friends and thank them for their service. Think about what their sacrifice has meant for you in your own life.
Thankful Thursday
Happy thankful Thursday! How have you been doing with adding gratitude practice to your daily life? Has it been easy or difficult. I know for myself, it has been difficult to add in gratitude consistently. This is despite knowing the importance of adding in gratitude practice.
Today, the challenge is to look back over the last 2 weeks and see how your progress has been in adding in gratitude to your daily life. I encourage you to give yourself credit for what you have done and make a plan to improve if you have struggled with this. Life gets busy and sometimes new habits and routines get lost in the midst of the busy schedules.
Today we grateful for the progress you have made and continue to work to add in daily gratitude practice. For those who have been successful in this being added daily, congratulations you have hit the point where this has become a habit.
This sounds like a true blessing, rest and restoration for you!