Winds in the East….

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IMG_0272.JPG“Winds in the east, mist coming in, Like somethin’ is brewin’ and bout to begin. Can’t put me finger on what lies in store, But I fear what’s to happen all happened before.” Bert (Mary Poppins)

Here we are once again at the end of one season and the beginnings of another. This next season, Winter is often associated with both happy times (Christmas and general holiday cheer) and sad (cold, death, reminders of lost ones). Walking into this season for me is a bit unknown. I am leaving a season where there were lots of good changes. I started working after I finished my internship and have since had multiple role changes in one of my jobs. While role changes are good sometimes it can be a little overwhelming to have so much change so quickly. I lost my dissertation chair (again) gained a new one and also gained a new committee member (let’s hope my dissertation makes some movement) and yet I continued to sense that the changes were not done.

Here comes winter when things are typically dormant, right? Not my life, I decide to move closer to my work because all of a sudden the drive is just not working out for me (even though I usually have no issue with driving). As I am looking at apartments I have this thought intrude my mind about how the space I am living in would work for community. If you know me, you know as an introvert that one of the things I despise, hate, loath are small groups. However, I also value them. I lead or co-lead a small group through a curriculum regularly at my church but I had not ever had a thought of community invading my home. Yet, here I am and all I can think about is the possibility of having a small group in my home once I move (in 3 weeks). Now I could go on and on about how this next season I foresee is going to be one of some intense replanting and stretching and growing in ways that I am not sure I am ready to do.

Recently, someone said something that reignited some fires that I have allowed to go dark over the years, and while the prospects are exciting they are scary because in the midst of constant change, I can only take so much right? Or maybe I am stronger and more flexible than I ever thought I could be. Maybe despite this feeling to put in some roots, is what I think it is. So far since moving home from the winter wonderland that is Michigan, I have put in some small roots, but nothing that truly connects me to where I am. This could be due to the fact that I currently spend my time spread out in 3 areas that are at least an hour and a half apart and can go days without going home in between. Lately I have felt it was time to make a place that is home, where I will put down some roots and stay put for a bit. So I decided to move, and now have signed a year lease on an apartment. I am deciding to make that community where I will be living my community. Stay tuned for what changes are still coming.

 

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