Dear Extrovert friends….

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Dear Extrovert friends,

I know that you mean well, and you are friendly with everyone but sometimes your introvert friends need something different from you. In case you had not noticed when it is a large gathering, you might be missing some of us. It is not because we don’t want to spend time with you but large group gatherings are typically very draining for us. I know that is hard to understand since you feel so energized after spending time with a group of people. If we know in advance, we can plan so that we will have the energy to spend. We prefer a one on one or small group of friends gathering.  However, just because we don’t like the large group gatherings and may not attend them regularly, please still invite us. We may have the capacity to go and participate. We still want to be included, and given the option of saying yes or no.

I know, some of you, my extrovert friends wonder about us introverts in life group. We don’t really speak up often and maybe you think we are not engaged in the group. We are engaged, we are listening to each and everything that is said and we are processing. We are very good listeners typically and we are thinking about what you are saying. We are listening and not formulating responses while you are talking, so it takes a bit longer for us to formulate a response. When we do respond it is typically a well thought out response because we tend to think through our thoughts. Also, when it is small talk in the life group we are not going to jump in. Small talk is not really the thing that introverts love. We want to know you heart, your passion, what you care about the most. We crave the deep meaningful relationships.

We do care about you, and we love having you as our friends. Just remember that we see things differently and that what we consider to be important may not be the same for you. If you want to know what we are thinking just ask, we do talk, I promise. Some of us may be more shy than others and some of us may have spent time playing the extrovert, so we seem more like you. Not all introverts are shy and not all extroverts are outgoing. I know that this has been a lot of information but I thought I should help you, my friends out so things are a little smoother between these two very different personality types.

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